Doctor Jokes

The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round.

Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed.

The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, ''George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?''

George replies, ''Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.''

''Well,'' one of the employees questioned, ''What happens if she is laying on her back?'' George replies, ''Then I am 10 minutes late.''

DOCTOR" The pain in your right leg is caused by old age.
OLD MAN : But my left leg is the same age and that doesn't hurt.

Doctor, doctor! I'm becoming invisible.
Yes I can see you're not all there.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a 10 Dollar note
Well go and buy something then, the change will do you good.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a frog
Go on, hop it!

A boy called the doctor..
"Doctor, doctor come quick, my younger brother has just swallowed my pen."
"I'll be right over - what are you doing in the meantime?"
"I'm using a pencil..."

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a pack of cards.
Sit down and I'll deal with you later.

DOCTOR: Well, Mr Jones, I can't find anything wrong with you. It must be the drink.
MR JONES: Okay, Doctor, I'll come back in the morning when you're sober.

I went to the doctor, it was quite serious. He gave me 6 months to live. But when I couldn't pay his bill he gave me another 6 months.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a bridge.
Now then, what's come over you?
Two cars and a truck.

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaad.