A swedish truck driver once got stuck in a tunnel in Norway. Soon a norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the load stuck against the ceiling. The norwegian suggested that the swede let the air out of the tires. The swede looked angrily at him, "You moron! The truck is stuck up on top."
A swede was driving along an interstate-highway for the first time. As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted by a warning message which said that there was a car driving the wrong way on the highway. "ONE?" the swede yells out, "there are several hundred of them out there!"
In a swedish army camouflage book: "When the soldier is moving through woodland, he's supposed to break off branches and put them on his helmet. When he is moving through cornfields, he's to break off some cornstalks and put them on his helmet. When the soldier is moving through a cabbage field he's supposed to take off his helmet for the best camouflage."
Two Swedes were in Norway on a visit and they were wondering about all the beautiful buildings. One of the Swedes went over to a Norwegian and asked how they managed to build such beautiful buildings. The Norwegian brought the Swede to a wall and laid his hand on it. Then he asked the Swede to hit it. First the Swede didn't want to, but then finally he hit as hard as he was able to. The Norwegian quickly pulled his hand out of the way and the Swede got all his knuckles smashed. The Norwegian said, "It's a question of intelligence."
The Swede went back to his buddy who wondered if he'd gotten his question answered. - "Yes," the he answered and put his hand on his forehead, "Hit my hand!"..
A swedish road-worker was hired to paint the line that goes down the center of the road. The first day he managed to paint 2 kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. The next day he only painted 200 meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the first day. But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. The boss called him into the office and demanded an explanation. "Well, you see it's getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the swede explained.