Bill Clinton Jokes

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Hillary is being driven around Washington D.C.

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Hillary is being driven around Washington D.C. and spots a little boy sitting in a park with a wagon. She thinks, "this is a great press opportunity" so she has her driver pull over. She gets out to talk to the little boy and discovers that he has 6 little puppies in the wagon. She comments on how nice they are and the little boy says "Thank you ma'm, they're Democrats!" Of course Hillary is extremely pleased by this.

A few days later, Bill decides to take one of his jogs down to McDonalds, which is close to the park, and Hillary mentions that if he should see a little boy with a wagon he should stop and talk to him. Well, Bill sees the little boy with his wagon and puppies so he tells the little boy, "what nice puppies those are!" The boy says, "Thank you sir. They're Republicans!" "Wait a minute," says Bill, "You told Hillary that they were Democrats." The boy responds, "Yes sir, they were, but now their eyes are open!"
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:37

Q: Why has President Clinton taken to fooling around with younger women?

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Q: Why has President Clinton taken to fooling around with younger women?
A: He got tired of jostling elders!
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:37

Clinton and The Pope were on the same flight

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Clinton and The Pope were on the same flight and the plane crashed, killing both of them. Clinton was accidentally sent to heaven and The Pope was sent to hell. God realized the mistake 20 minutes later and transferred Bill to hell and The Pope to heaven. As they were crossing over they passed one another and The Pope said, "I'm sure glad they recognized the error, I was looking forward to meeting The Virgin Mary." Bill replied, while looking at his watch, "You just missed her about 15 minutes ago."
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:36

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished first
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:36

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy". One little boy stands up and offers that "If my best friend who lives next door was playing in the street when a car came along and killed him, that would be a tragedy." "No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT." A girl raises her hand. "If a schoolbus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved... that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains Clinton."That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room is silent; none of the other children volunteer. "What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there any one here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally, a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill & Hillary Clinton were blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:36

Q: When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Democrat?

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Q: When did Clinton realize Paula Jones wasn't a Democrat?
A: When she didn't swallow everything he presented.
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:35

A little boy wanted $100 very badly,

Saturday, September 8. 2007

A little boy wanted $100 very badly, so he prayed every night for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided he would just write the Lord a letter and ask him directly for the $100.
When the post office received the letter addressed to "GOD, U.S.A.," they decided to forward it to President Clinton. The President was so touched and impressed with the boy's nerve that he showed it to Hillary. She said, "This could be good P.R., Bill. Go ahead and send the kid some money." The President told his secretary to send the boy $5.00. He thought this would seem like a lot of money to the little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat right down to write a thank you letter to God. It read as follows:
Dear God,
Thank you for sending me the money I rquested. However, I see you send the money through Washington, D.C. and, as usual, that bastard Clinton took 95% of it.
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:35

Q: What do you call 8 nights of blow jobs?

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Q: What do you call 8 nights of blow jobs?
A: Hannukah Lewinsky.
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:34

Why does Bill Clinton where underwear?

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Why does Bill Clinton where underwear?
To keep his ankles warm.
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:34

Q. What's the difference between President Clinton and the Titanic?

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Q. What's the difference between President Clinton and the Titanic?
A. Only 1500 went down on the Titanic
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:34

Bill and Hillary are driving through the town

Saturday, September 8. 2007

Bill and Hillary are driving through the town where Hillary grew up,when they stopped for gas. As he is pumping gas the attendant looks in the window and recognizes Hillary.'Do you remember me?',he asks Hillary we dated in high school.They chat for a little while and then Bill pays for the gas and drives away. Bill is feeling proud of himself and looks at Hillary and says "What would have happened if you married the gas station attendant instead of me? and Hillary replies then you would be pumping gas and he would be president!!
Posted by Dirk in Bill Clinton Jokes at 22:33
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