Mexican Jokes

Q: What were the 2 Mexican FireFighting Brother's names?

A: Hose A and Hose B

Sid and Mundo were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Sid," asked Mundo, "Are there any Jews in Mexico?"

I don't know," Mundo replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?"

When the waiter came by, Mundo asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

"I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican Jews."

"Are you sure?" Mundo asked.

"I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.

While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere."

When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews."

"Are you really sure?" Mundo asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews."

"Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews, and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!"

There are many stories related to the sinking of the "Titanic". Some have come to light due to the success of movie. For example, most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The "Titanic"was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City.

The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

Aimara, a Mexican maid announced to her Boss Mr Blanco and his wife that she was quitting. When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way."

The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.

The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."

Mrs Blanco was mortified and demanded an explanation.

"Well," Aimara explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, 'You are in the way'. I go to the living room to clean and your son say 'You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I quit."

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an Iranian?

A: Oil of Ole.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?

A: A Beaner-Schnitzel

Q. What kind of cans are there in Mexico?

A. Mexicans.

The American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?"

The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years."

"But what then?" asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions?...Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?

I don't know but it could pick lettuce good.

There is an American, a German, and a Mexican. They are in all in a boat. The boat is about to sink. Each of them have to throw things out to make the boat lighter.

The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says, "We have a lot of bear in Germany so we don't need these!"

The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says, "We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"

The American grabs the Mexican and throws him out.

The German asks why he threw the Mexican out.

And the American replies, "We have a lot of Mexicans in America so we don't need him!."

What do you call a Mexican quarterback?

El Paso.