A Kerryman went to London and found himself in the Underground late one night. Seeing a notice "DOGS MUST BE CARRIED ON THE ESCALATOR", he moaned to himself, "And where am I going to find a dog at this hour of the night?"
by the time that year is up, the three men who are in the class
will no longer stutter. Well, about 11 months went by and the
men were not stuttering as much. So in the 12th month, the woman
says,"well, this whole thing is almost over and you still
stutter. I know how i can get you to stop. I will ask you where
you're from, and if you can tell me the city without stuttering,
i will have mad sex with you."
The next class the woman asks the first man,"what city were you
born in?" The man says," Nnnnnnew Yyyyyorrk."
She asks the second man,"what city do you live in now?"
The man replies,"Pppppittsbbbburg."
She asks the third man, "Where do you live now?"
The third man says,"Miami..."
They then make mad love for hours.
After they're done, the man says,"Bbbbeach."
Jimmy-Joe finds a Genie lamp and rubs it. Out comes the Genie and asks "Master you have released me from the lamp and I grant you three wishes, what would you like"
Jimmy-Joe scratches his head, then answers "A bottle of Guinness that never gets empty. "Granted master" retorted the Genie and produced the bottle. Jimmy-Joe was delighted and got drunk on this one magic Guiness bottle for weeks then he remembered that he had two other wishes.
He rubbed the lamp again and the Genie appeared. "Yes master, you have two more wishes, what would you like?" "You know that magic, never ending Guinness bottle" he asks the Genies. "Well, for my final two wishes, I'd like another two of them"
O'Connell was staggering home with a small bottle of Paddy in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"