A seventy year old man is over head over heels in love with a twenty year old girl. But it isn't mutual. Grandpa decides to do something about it: fitness, plastic surgery, everything is done to make him look more youthful. And with success, a couple of months later he walks out of the church a married man, holding the hand of his beautiful bride. Great is his anger when at that time a bus runs over him and kills him. Furious he walks up to the angel Gabrielle at the gate of heaven and says: "How can you do this to me now that I've finally got what I wanted!" Gabrielle laughs painfully and says: "Sorry man but I just didn't recognize you."
A small tourist hotel was all abuzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23. The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman. But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years and I thought he meant his money!!"
Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Its is not okay for the groom to bring a date to a wedding.
When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.
A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent.
For the groom:
at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
Soon after marriage, a lady's husband stopped wearing his wedding ring. She asked, "Why don't you ever wear your wedding band?" He replied, "It cuts off my circulation."
She answered back, "It's supposed to!"