Saturday, August 25. 2007
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
Saturday, August 25. 2007
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
I overheard two dissatisfied colleagues talking today, one was saying that he was going to work for Euro Disney because he was fed up with his present job and wanted to work for a real Mickey Mouse Operation.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
I overheard two dissatisfied colleagues talking today, one was saying that he was going to work for Euro Disney because he was fed up with his present job and wanted to work for a real Mickey Mouse Operation.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
Labor or Hard Labor.....you decide!
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8'x 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6'x 8'cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend your time wanting to get out and inside bars.
In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work we have managers.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
The manager started his speech at 10 a.m. sharp and ended at 11 a.m. dull.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
We call our boss caterpillar.
He got where he is by crawling.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
If at first you don't succeed, delegate it.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
The fifteen minute morning coffee break is when your employees take a break from doing nothing.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.
Saturday, August 25. 2007
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young programmer, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The programmer said, "In the neighborhood of $150,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."
The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"
The programmer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"
And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."