Chuck Norris Jokes

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To prove it isn’t that big of

Saturday, October 6. 2007

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:47

Chuck Norris does

Saturday, October 6. 2007

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:47

The original theme song to the

Saturday, October 6. 2007

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:46

Rather than being birthed like

Saturday, October 6. 2007

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:46

If you can see Chuck Norris

Saturday, October 6. 2007

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:46

Chuck Norris died ten years

Saturday, October 6. 2007

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't pluck up the courage to tell him
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:45

After much debate,

Saturday, October 6. 2007

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:45

Chuck Norris is said to have

Saturday, October 6. 2007

Chuck Norris is said to have roundhouse kicked a McDonald's so hard that it became a Wendy's.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:44

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man

Saturday, October 6. 2007

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wise Man. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:44

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon

Saturday, October 6. 2007

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:43

Chuck Norris is not hung

Saturday, October 6. 2007

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Posted by Dirk in Chuck Norris Jokes at 10:43
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