Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
A: There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, so long as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for him.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instrument?
A: Violins don't have spit valves.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower?
A: Vibrato.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
A: The dog knows when to stop scratching.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Two roadies were moving the cart of amps and drum cases, in order to load them back onto the tour truck The singer came by and said, "You should push the cart instead of pulling it. It's a lot easier."
So the roadies turned around and started pushing the cart.
The one said to the other, "You know, this is a lot easier."
The other replied, "Yeah, but we're getting farther away from the truck".
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: How do you make a chainsaw sound like a bari-sax?
A: Add vibrato.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high!
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
A: No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.
Monday, October 8. 2007
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
Monday, October 8. 2007
Finally everyone had gotten off the tour bus except for the singer's aged mother walking with a cane. Stopping next to the driver she said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am," Replied the driver. "What is it?"
"Did we arrive, or were we shot down?"
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: How many banjo players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only 1, but all the others gathered 'round will complain that that's not the way Earl would have done it.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A: It's all in the grip.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A: A fiddle is fun to listen to.
Monday, October 8. 2007
Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to handle the bulb, and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.