There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.
The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.
The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.
The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.
So God made him a woman !!
As you know St.Peter guards the gates of heaven. One day he needed to pee,as you do,so he asked Jesus to guard the gates for a while,and Jesus being a very kind and willing man said he would. After a while a man appeared and started to walk towards Jesus. When the man got to the gates Jesus thought he looked very familiar. He was on ald man with a beard. Jesus asked-"I don't mean to be nosey sir,but did you have any children?" The man replies-"Yes,one son,but he died,he had nails put through him." "And what did you work as?" "I was a carpenter" Jesus says-"Father?" The man says-"Pinnochio?".
A copywriter dies, and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell. The writer asks to see both. Leading him to a doorway, Saint Peter says: "Here in Hell, we have a room just for copywriters." Inside, the writer sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips. "The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream. "Uh ... better show me Heaven," the writer says. So up they go.
"Here in Heaven, we have a room for copywriters too," Saint Peter says. Peering into the second room, the writer again sees row upon row of faceless hacks, all scribbling frantically as giant red devils lay into them with heavy whips. "The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes" the devils scream.
The copywriter protests, "But I thought you said this was Heaven!" St. Peter says, "Well, up Here, the work gets produced."