Sunday, August 26. 2007
Did you hear about the Polish Admiral who wanted to be burried at sea
when he died? Five sailors died digging his grave.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
A Polish and an Italian are hunting in the woods. Suddenly a
naked woman appears.
Italian: Boy, I could eat her!...
The Polish guy shot her.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two, and
subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Did you hear about the latest Polish invention? It's a solar-powered
flashlight.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Polish loan shark lends out all his money, skips town.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: Who wears a dirty white robe and rides a pig?
A: Lawrence of Poland
Sunday, August 26. 2007
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Polak were captured by the
Germans and thrown into prison. However, the guard was rather kind
towards them, and said, "I am going to lock you away for five years,
_but_ I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you away."
The Englishman says, "I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says, "I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Polak says, "I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their
prisoners. First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out
totally drunk. Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out
rather inebriated. Then, they release the Polak, who comes out and
says, "Has anyone got a light?"
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest
Service.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 3. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to
spin the chair.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q. Why don't polish women use vibrators?
A. It chips their teeth.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: What do you get if you integrate around Europe?
A: Zero. Because there are no poles in Europe.
Actually, there are some Poles in Europe, but they're removable.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
Q: How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Sunday, August 26. 2007
A travelling salesman has an audience with the Pope and, not
quite knowing what to say tries to break the ice with a joke...
"Have you heard the one about the two Polish priests, Holy Father?"
"But I _am_ Polish, my son."
There followed a pregnant pause while the salesman thought quickly ...
"That's OK, Holy Father, I'll tell you it slowly."