During a big fire downtown the firemen were having a bit of trouble. A woman was stuck on the fourth floor with her baby. The fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built black man burst through the crowd and shouted to the women. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop.
The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and yelled, "TOUCHDOWN!!"
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
A man calls the fire department and says, "Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden."
"Very nice," the firefighter says, "but what does that have to do with the fire service?"
"Well," the man answers, "the house next door is on fire and I don't want you to trample my front yard."
A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warning
that if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time then
one day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch her
pass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.
A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates.
He told himself, "I'm a fire chief, I'm not going to wait in line."
He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, "Let me in. I'm a fire chief." The angels replied, "You'll have
to wait in line like everyone else, sir."
While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a white
helmet that said "CHIEF". The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chief
was pissed and went to talk to the angels.
He asked, "Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me?" To which the angels replied, "You have it all
wrong, sir. That's God, he just thinks he's a Fire Chief."
A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks.
After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean?
"That's easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour." says the devil.
"I don't see the Chiefs clock anywhere?" the fireman says.
The devil replied, "Oh him, we have his down in the basement, we're using it for a fan."
After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town, the firemen observed a man dressed in a matador's costume prancing around on the roof. Four of the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape from the burning building by jumping into the net. He refused and loudly proclaimed, "I'm Fearless Jose the bullfighter who fears nothing, not even fire."
The firemen begged and pleaded but to no avail. Jose kept prancing around while repeating the same phrase over and over until the firemen got really sick and tired of hearing it. Finally, when the flames began to scorch his butt, Jose announced he had changed his mind, was ready to jump and then leaped off the rooftop. As his body hurtled toward the safety-net, the four firemen shouted, "Ole!" and quickly moved it aside.
There was a huge fire at a big city soda factory. The city company was losing ground and the owner was
frantic. He told the fire department that he needed a secret formula in the safe that was in the center of the
blaze, and he would give 10,000 dollars to the department that got the formula. An hour later no ground was
gained and a mutual aid call was put out. When 12 departments couldn't subdue the blaze the owner saw this
he raised the reward to 100,000 dollars. Suddenly a small town department drove their truck right into the fire
and emerged 10 minutes later with the formula. When asked what they would do with the money one said,
"Get them damn brakes fixed we figure."
Three firefighters went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather was
misrable and they hadn't seen any deer all day. They came across an old shack where they went inside to play
a game of poker. After loosing a couple of hands, the rookie threw down his cards and said "that does it! I am
going out to get me a deer." Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck. The
captain and chief asked, "how did you get that?" The rookie replied, "I walked out fifty feet, followed some
tracks and shot this buck". The captain then said, "I've had enough of this I am going to get my deer." He
came back a half hour later with a 6-point buck. The chief asked, "how did you get that?" The captain replied,
"I walked out a hundred feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck." The chief not wanting to be out done
said "I am out of here, I am going to bag the biggest buck of the day." He came back an hour later, all mangled
up and bloody. The rookie and captain asked, "what happened to you?" The chief replied, "I walked out there
five hundred feet, followed some tracks, and got hit by a train."